Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a hot homeless man
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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