What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
