wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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