Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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