.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize