your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize