If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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