i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
