I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
