Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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