just come out here and I will go home with you...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
