Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize