Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
