put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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