I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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