If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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