It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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