they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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