I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
