Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
