sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
