I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
