ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
