u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
