Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
