tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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