i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Found the puke drawer
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...