I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!