your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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