even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
