thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
