PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im holly from the hills drunk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
