margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
