The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm like, not good at living.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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