that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
