It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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