Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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