The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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