yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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