Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my liver is dry heaving
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You are a genius and a whore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
