i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
