he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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