Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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