Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He passed out mid-signature
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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