we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
