loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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