There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We got so high we made milksteak
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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