apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
