He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
