..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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