Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
