Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize