sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize