It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize