ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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